Altared Plans Chapter 1

Her wedding day. A day she’d never forget. A perfect day that would begin her perfect life with her perfect husband. It couldn’t be anything but perfect because that’s how she’d planned it.

Caitlyn grabbed her hand mirror. She tucked a wisp of her dark blond hair behind her ear as she examined her makeup for the hundredth time. The hum of the engine was the only sound in the car.

“You look beautiful,” her mom said as she turned from the front seat of the car to look at Caitlyn. “The temple isn’t too far away; are you getting nervous?”

“Kind of. But, I don’t know why. After all, I’ve been planning this day for so long and everything is falling into place.” A smile spread across her face, lighting up her eyes. “By this afternoon, I’ll be Caitlyn Haggerty.” She couldn’t help but feel the joy as it bubbled to the surface. Soon Justin would be her husband and she wanted nothing more than to spend her life, and all of eternity, loving him.

“I’m glad it all worked out for you,” her younger sister said with a shrug.

Caitlyn jerked her head back and gave Lindsay an incredulous look. “Did you think it wouldn’t?”

“I figured you’d meet another guy while you were at BYU. I didn’t think you’d actually wait for him.” Lindsay snatched a tube of lip gloss from Caitlyn’s makeup bag.

“Seriously?”

Lindsay shrugged again.

“No way. Justin is the only one for me. Has been since high school. I can’t imagine my life without him.” She paused. “And, after today, I won’t have to. We’ll be married and all my dreams will come true.” A vision of Justin’s smiling face with his sky-blue eyes and blond, wavy hair flashed across her mind.

“So,” Lindsay said as she applied the lip gloss, “where’s he been for the last few days?”

“Huh?” Caitlyn blinked her eyes a few times.

“He didn’t even come over for Christmas dinner.”

“Your point?”

“Shouldn’t your fiancé have eaten Christmas dinner with you?”

“He wanted to spend time with his family. He’s sweet like that. And then he went down to Newport Beach to see an old companion. You know, bachelor stuff.”

“Isn’t that kind of weird?”

“No. Not at all. We’ll have plenty of Christmases together. I think it’s fine he wanted to spend time with his family and with Troy.” It was fine. Just because they didn’t spend Christmas together like she’d hoped didn’t mean anything. They’d be sealed today and have the rest of their lives and eternity to be together. It wasn’t weird. Caitlyn assured herself that Lindsay was still a teenager and she didn’t understand such things.

“Whatever you say. I—“

“Let’s not talk about it anymore. It’s my wedding day and I only want happy thoughts.” She gazed at herself in the mirror and recalled their first date when Justin had tried to teach her to surf. She kept falling off the board into the cool ocean water, sometimes even slipping below the surface. She could almost taste the salt on her lips.

When he placed his arms around her to help steady her on the board, her skin tingled, and it wasn’t because she was cold. She closed her eyes and immersed herself in memories of Justin’s embrace.

“Cait . . . Cait . . . Cait?” Lindsay intruded on her daydream.

“Huh?”

“Mom asked if you double-checked everything before we left the house.”

Caitlyn did a mental tally of the contents of the trunk. “The garment bag with my dress and veil. My shoes—“

“You’re sure,” her mother asked.

“Yes. The photographer will be in the courtyard so he can capture us as soon as we come out of the temple, right?”

“That’s what he said when I called yesterday,” her mother answered.

“I think everything is all in place then,” Caitlyn said, happiness enveloping her.

“As long as Justin shows up.” Lindsay let out a laugh.

Caitlyn gave her a look. “Ha. Ha.”

“I still don’t agree with the rules about your Mormon temples. A father should be able to see his daughter’s wedding,” her dad said over his shoulder, his voice stern.

“Dad, we’ve already discussed this a thousand times.”

“I don’t understand why the Episcopal Church where your mom and I were married wasn’t an option. All Saints by the Sea is a beautiful building right near the ocean and all of our family could’ve attended.”

“Because I want to be sealed for eternity. I don’t want to marry Justin for this life—“

“Caitlyn—“

“Robert,” her mom interrupted. She squeezed his arm, “Please, not today. Cait’s made her decision and this is her day. Let’s not ruin it with another argument.”

“You’ll be able to see the ceremony,” her father said to her mother. “It isn’t right. A church shouldn’t separate families on a day like today.”

A few moments of silence followed. Her dad finally said, “I’m sorry, Caitie. You know how much I love you. I’m disappointed, that’s all. I’ve looked forward to your wedding day ever since I first held you in my arms.”

Caitlyn reached up and patted her dad’s shoulder. “I know, but this is the right thing for me to do. I’ll see you as soon as we come out. You’ll be the first one I hug.”

“Looks like the weather will cooperate,” her mom offered. Caitlyn recognized it as her mom’s usual attempt at peacemaking.

Caitlyn gazed out of the window of her parents’ silver Jaguar. “I sure miss California weather. I can’t wait until Justin and I both graduate and we can move back to Santa Barbara and start our family. We’ll have two boys and two girls.”

“Sounds like you have it all planned out,” her mom said. She laughed.

“What?”

“Not everything goes as planned, you know. You may end up with all boys or all girls.”

“Four children? Do you have any idea how expensive it is to raise kids these days? Especially in Santa Barbara. You need to be realistic,” her dad said.

“Don’t worry. I have it all figured out. Justin thinks I’m obsessed with planning everything, but that’s just his way of saying he appreciates me taking charge.” Caitlyn nodded her head.

“Where will you work?” her father asked.

“Me? I’m not going to work. I plan to stay home and raise the kids.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I want to be at home and take care of our house and the kids while Justin works and eventually takes over his dad’s business.”

“You’re going to waste your education raising kids?” her dad said.

Her mom cut in, “We’ll be at the temple in less than fifteen minutes. Robert, you charged the video camera and brought extra batteries for the digital camera, correct?”

“The batteries are in the camera bag.”

“I want to make sure we get plenty of footage. Maybe you can record them while Lindsay takes photos.”

“What about the photographer?” her dad asked.

“He’ll get plenty of shots, but I want my own, especially of the family and everyone who will be waiting outside the temple.”

Caitlyn’s parents continued to discuss taking pictures. She was grateful that her mom had sidetracked her dad. She laid her head back against the seat and shut her eyes. In a few hours, she’d start eternity with the guy she’d loved since high school.

“I can see the temple,” Lindsay said.

Caitlyn bent down so she could see the temple from
Lindsay’s window. “I’ve always thought it looked a little out of place. I mean, L.A. is city everywhere, and all you can see is pavement and then, boom, the temple sitting on that big grassy hill. It looks so heavenly.”

She smoothed her hair again and took several breaths to calm her nerves as she gazed at the white building set against the clear blue sky. This was it.

They pulled into the parking lot and Caitlyn’s heart felt like it might jump out of her throat. Since the temple was only open this one day during Christmas break, she had to go through the endowment session right before her wedding ceremony. She worried it might be too overwhelming, but it was the only option if they wanted to be married before winter semester at BYU.

Caitlyn walked around to the back of the car and opened the trunk. She rummaged through the contents. “Mom, I can’t find my veil.”

Her mom stepped over to the car. “I thought you said everything was in there.”

“I put it in here. I’m sure of it. Where did it go?”

“Could it be in with your dress?”

Caitlyn unzipped the garment bag and searched through it. “I don’t see it.” Her face heated. Stress clamped down on her chest. “I can’t have pictures without my veil.”

“Calm down. We’ll figure it out.”

“How can it not be here? This will ruin my wedding.”

“Cait, you’re being way too dramatic. Get a hold of yourself. We’ll work something out, and it will be fine.”

“Mom, this is my one and only wedding day. I wanted it to be perfect, and now my veil is missing.”

Her mother checked her watch. “We need to get inside the temple. Your endowment session will begin in less than an hour and you need to prepare. You don’t need your veil until you leave the temple after the ceremony. I’ll make some calls and see if someone can go to the house and find it and then bring it down here.” She cupped Caitlyn’s chin in her hand. “Your day will be perfect and you will be a beautiful bride.”

Caitlyn closed her eyes and contained her breathing. She opened her eyes and said, “Thanks, Mom. And, thanks for coming with me. I know it’s hard for you to go to the temple without Dad, but I’m so happy you’ll be with me.”

“Me, too. I wouldn’t miss my baby getting married for anything.” Her mom wiped at her eyes.

“Mom, don’t get me started. I’m emotional enough.”

Caitlyn and her mom embraced.

Lindsay approached them. “I’ll take Dad over to the visitor’s center. Maybe he’ll like it. Or not.”

Caitlyn and her mother walked to the entrance of the temple and opened the large door. Caitlyn noticed the sign that said, “Members Only,” and wished her Dad could accompany them. She stepped inside, toward the desk.

She and her mom waited behind another couple and their parents, while a different couple stood in the waiting area holding garment bags. It was a busy day for the temple. She held her bag tightly. “I wonder if Justin is here yet. I can’t wait to see him.”

“I assume they’re here.” Her mom reached over and adjusted Caitlyn’s necklace.

After a few minutes, the outside door opened and Caitlyn turned to see Justin’s parents. She grinned.

Justin’s father motioned for her to come out to him. She looked at her mom and they both exited the temple.

“Hello, Caitlyn,” he said in a strained voice. He seemed distracted. Caitlyn figured it was due to the impending events of the day.

“Hi.” She craned her neck to see if she could catch a glimpse of her way hot, soon-to-be groom. Excitement welled up inside.

“I . . . we . . . well . . .,” Justin’s dad stammered.

“Where’s Justin?” Caitlyn said with a smile.

Justin’s mom stepped forward. Her eyes were bloodshot. “We have some . . . bad news.”

Suddenly, Caitlyn couldn’t breathe. She felt like someone was gripping her neck so tight she couldn’t swallow. She eked out, “Is something wrong?”

The Haggertys both nodded.

Caitlyn clapped her hand to her mouth. Terrifying thoughts swirled in her mind. “What is it?”

Brother Haggerty began, “You know Justin came down here to spend time with Troy.”

Caitlyn nodded. Tears formed in her eyes while her imagination exploded.

“He . . . well . . .”

“Is he okay?” Caitlyn’s voice cracked.

“In a manner of speaking,” his mother said. She shook her head.

“Please, tell us what’s wrong,” Caitlyn’s mother said.

“We were supposed to meet for breakfast early this morning.” His dad kicked at the ground. “Justin didn’t show up on time. After almost half an hour, Troy came to the restaurant.”

“And?” Caitlyn’s head pounded.

“I don’t quite know how to tell you,” Justin’s dad said.

“Just say it.” Caitlyn wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he had to say, but she needed to know.

His mother blurted out, “Justin is on a plane for New York.”

“A plane?”

“We rushed to LAX and tried to stop him. Really, we did. But, he wouldn’t listen to reason,” his dad said, anxiety evident in his voice.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying. Why would Justin fly to New York on the day of our wedding?” Her heart thumped in her ears. She felt her mother’s arm around her shoulder.

Justin’s mom let out a long sigh. “Caitlyn, Justin has gone to be with a girl he met while he was on his mission.”

“A girl he met on his mission?” Caitlyn blinked her eyes several times and her mother’s grip tightened.

“He’s not coming back. He said to tell you he’s sorry, but he couldn’t go through with the wedding when he’s . . .” her sentence trailed off.

“What?”

“In love with someone else,” his father said.

The words sliced through her. She dropped the garment bag to the ground in a heap. Her perfect life was unraveling right before her. Intense sadness grasped her heart and squeezed it so tight she thought she might die on the spot.

“I’m sorry, Caitlyn.” His mom embraced her for a few moments.

“We didn’t raise him to act this way. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He has a lot of explaining to do,” his father said.

Caitlyn stared at the ground. She’d been left at the altar, or as close to that as possible at the temple. How could he? Why didn’t he say anything? He led her to believe he loved her and would marry her today. Now, she was standing in front of the temple, deserted. Her life was shattered. All of her planning, her dreaming, and her love, was for nothing. She’d been abandoned on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. 

“We’ll take care of everything. We’ll go in and speak with someone in the temple and call the caterer. We’ll let the bishop know and we’ll make sure everyone gets the word before the reception was supposed to start. Don’t worry about anything,” Justin’s father said. “It’s the least we can do.”

Caitlyn could hear Justin’s mom crying.

“Thank you,” Caitlyn’s mom said. She whispered into Caitlyn’s ear, “Let’s get you back to the car.”

Caitlyn sat in the backseat. She wasn’t sure how she got there. She was numb, floating somewhere between dreaming and awakening.

“What kind of a young man does this?” her father said from the front seat.

“Robert, don’t make her feel any worse. We don’t need to discuss it right now,” her mom said. “Let her work through this.”

Lindsay reached over and caressed Caitlyn’s hand. Caitlyn rested her head against the seat and stared out the window as they drove the freeway back toward Santa Barbara.

Today had not turned out at all like she had planned. She’d played it over and over again in her mind. How could Justin have fallen in love with another girl while he was supposed to be serving the Lord, and while knowing that Caitlyn was home waiting for him? She wrapped her arms around herself, amazed at the physical pain she felt deep within her chest.

When they arrived home, Caitlyn went directly to her bedroom. She closed the door behind her and collapsed on her bed. She never wanted to leave her room. She’d cried so many tears on the way home, she didn’t have any left. Her heart was smashed into a million pieces and her dreams were crushed. What about their apartment, their house on the Mesa, their four children?

In the blink or an eye, or the takeoff of a plane, it was gone.

 

***

 

Several hours later, Caitlyn awoke to her mom standing in the doorway with a tray in her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I wanted to leave you a little something to eat.” She placed the tray on the nightstand next to the bed.

Caitlyn wiped at her swollen eyes and sat up. She cleared her throat, “I’m not hungry.”

“Maybe later.”

Caitlyn shrugged.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sad. Confused”

“I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart.”

Caitlyn nodded. She toppled back down on her bed and her mother snuggled up next to her.

“I can’t believe he dumped me for another girl. Why didn’t he tell me he didn’t want to get married?”

“Maybe he was afraid.”

“He fell in love with a girl on his mission. Who does that?”

“I don’t know.” Her mom brushed her hand against Caitlyn’s cheek.

“What will I do now?”

“Go back to BYU.”

“I can’t. I told everyone about the wedding. Every time I have to answer why I’m not married, I’ll have to relive the pain all over again. I can’t do that. My heart hurts too much.”

“People will understand.”

“Will they? I don’t even understand it.” Tears snaked down her cheeks.

“In time you’ll find someone else.”

“No way. I never want to be hurt like this again. I’m done with marriage. Forever.” She used her sleeve to wipe her eyes.

“You’re still—“

“I trusted him. I believed him when he said we’d get married. Even though we couldn’t see much of each other because I was at school when he got home from his mission, we talked on the phone and texted each other. He never said a word. When I came home to see him in October, he acted like we were still a couple. How could he change his mind like that? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know, honey, but you life will go on. I promise.” Her mom stroked Caitlyn’s hair. “I called your apartment office and your contract hasn’t sold so you still have a place there.”

“Mom, I can’t go back. Not like this.”

“You can, Cait. You can pick yourself up and go back.”

“No. I can’t.”

“Even though this is something none of us expected, it will be a blessing.”

“Right.”

“Really. You’ll see. Heavenly Father knows better than we do. It’s far better that this happened now instead of after the marriage.”

Caitlyn said nothing.

“You still have more than a week before school starts again. Your dad said he’d take some time off work. We can all go to Provo and spend time together as a family before we drop you off.”

Caitlyn closed her eyes. She desperately wished she’d wake up in the Bahamas enjoying her honeymoon.